aged allies

Good once in a while to see old friends. The ones who you can trust. As the milestone 30th birthday draws near I have decided to make an effort to call on such people. A week off work is advisable for any true commeration. Having manipulated another 365 days of survival in an ever turbulant world of violent walking to the pub and playing the odd frame or two of snooker. Executing with aplomb my current role at work as Man Friday I have earned the right to wake up with enormous hangovers on various sofas the length of England from Brighton to Leeds and back again via Nottingham and London over a 9 day period. Alcohol. The ever present friend of the travelling birthday celebrator will rear its pounding head each morning, the enemy to memory and good financial advice.

....Breaking News...

The tedium of life at the core of pebbledash middle England. Its all hapenning here. My local paper has filled an entire page with the news that the local park is slowly being turned into ...a ...rubbish dump! An Eastbourne Bourough Council spokesperson has said,"We are aware of the situation and we are investigating it". Thank goodness. They have included a photo of a plastic bag. Also a loose fence post. Also a photo of a discarded Carlsberg can. This can appears twice in the article, leading me to believe this 'situation' is not that bad as they say. I dont need a close-up as well as a panoramic view of the offending can. Also and perhaps most baffling is the (large) photo of a bench in the park. This has no rubbish near it, no graffiti on it and looks to be in perfect working order. Perhaps this growth of moss on the seat has incensed local residents and journalists alike to apply for the 'Much needed lottery funding to finance the considerable work needed'. I have got to get out of this town and find the real world, it's out there somewhere. Once I have found it at least then I can return to this mire I call home and scratch my arse and laugh at this stuff for its triviality. For the moment I absorb these days with stout-heartedness. The tedium of life at the core of pebbledash middle England is growing difficult to bear.

getting the hang of it

BANDIT, reported to be the world's fattest raccoon, has died.

The 10-year-old fur ball once weighed in at a whopping 75lbs - three times the average for the breed - after stuffing itself on crisps, Cheese Curls, Fruit Loops and chips.

Owner Deborah Klitsch said she was gutted."I haven't been eating, I haven't been sleeping," she said.

But Deborah, from Palmerton near New York, denied that she had overfed Bandit."He was born with a bad thyroid gland," she said.

Bandit ended up in the Guinness World Records book in 1999 when he tipped the scales at 52.5lbs.
At that point Deborah vowed to lock her kitchen cupboards - but Bandit continued to get fatter and fatter.
His minor celebrity status increased further when he landed a slot on cable TV's Food Network.

The raccoon was also a regular at his local Ice Cream World, where he enjoyed blue raspberry Slushes sucked through a straw.Boss Tim Pitts said: "He was a good customer."Thanks to Garry for that one.
10:01 PM

Dave said...
Pope John Paul II was "a very physical guy and very good at sports," California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says, expressing admiration for the pontiff's devotion to physical fitness.

As Catholics worldwide reflected on the pope on the day of his funeral at the Vatican, former bodybuilding champion Schwarzenegger recalled meeting the Polish pontiff while visiting with his wife Maria Shriver and her parents in 1983.

"He also talked to me about his exercise regime," the Catholic Schwarzenegger told KNX radio in Los Angeles on Friday. "That he worked out at 5 o'clock in the morning every day. He did his push-ups and sit-ups," the former Mr. Olympia said.

"You know he was a very physical guy and very good at sports and very good skier and soccer player."

9:03 PM