Elephants & rafts

Next morning we arrived at the elephant camp. Swam in the river and impressed a local lad with my stone skimming skills. Then we rode the elephants for miles down the river. You steer them with your feet which you tuck behind their ears as you sit on their heads. One of the mothers had a baby following it closely, another of the elephants got in a strop and started to turn back. The noise it made was incredible. The Dutch couple on its back looked a bit freaked out but the guide just laughed and whacked it with a bit of bamboo. Apparantly that one was always temperamental. Again camp fire stories and good grub at our 'hotel' in the hills at the next village. Next morning we packed away our cameras and donned our lifejackets to travel down the river again, this time on bamboo rafts. I reminded everyone the British were the best in the word at sailing and rowing. We chanted loudly some Thai songs amongst some truly breathtaking scenery. One part was a bit rocky with a lot of white water so everyone was ordered off the rafts. Apart from me. Mr. So, clearly confident I had a deathwish (or maybe he realised I was clearly the strongest'fittest one there? ;) ) insisted I help him negotiate the next hundred metres or so. That was good fun. After lunch the van took us back into the town and I said goodbye to all the others. Shame to meet decent people and then suddenly thats it, you never see them again. I told myself this was something I would have to become used to, after all I had another 50 weeks left to travel.

Close shave

Always walk next to the guide. They point things out that you would otherwise miss like elephant tracks or similar. We stopped where some large red ants had made a parcel out of a leaf to hatch their pupae, a good source of protein im told. Mr. Ko took some of the ants and popped their fat bodies between his fingers, they reek of ammonia, good to sniff to relieve tiredness for a mountain walker far from home. Walking on, up quite a steep hillside I was last in the line apart from the other guide Mr. So. (above). While walking you have to tread carefully and stop now and then to admire the views. As I climbed the hill I heard a curious noise overhead, sort of a creaking, splitting sound. I trudged on, soldierly. Suddenly, I was stopped in my tracks by a tremendous thump behind me. I spun around on one foot to see Mr. So pointing (and laughing almost hysterically) at a truly massive, gargantuan stump of wood which had broken off and missed me by mere inches. The air turned blue. Bloody close to being in big trouble there. We were in a very remote place and I cant emphasize enough how much trouble I would have been in had I been struck by that log. We stopped for a water break at the top of the hill and a few of the other trekkers were asking myself and Mr. So about why I had been swearing so loudly. Here we saw Mr. Ko laying leaves on top of a large (3-4ft tall) termite mound.He explained to me that he and the tribes people believed they had to lay these leaves at this spot and say a few words so that the spirits would watch over them. He put his hand on my shoulder and assured me that that log would never have struck me down because we were being looked after. This I was willing to accept. I asked if anything lived in the mound (could'nt see any termites). Mr. Ko replied "On outside look like not much happen. On inside, like Bangkok".

Trekking in Chiang Mai

Trekking is really the main must do activity in Chaing Mai. I booked it at the Souvenir Guest House. I just asked the lady to put me on the best one. I left the following day. This was a 3 day trek for about 20 quid. Picked up early we drove for a couple of hours into the mountains, picked up other trekkers on the way, 4 French; Stefan, Daphne, Caroline and another one whos name I forgot as soon as she said it. A Swiss couple, Simon and the lovely Claudia. Six Dutch, Pieter and family, two hippies namely Johan and his girlfriend (they were hoping for some opium smoking activity). Englishman Doctor Raj from Leeds (Hyde Park where I used to live). So there was a good mix of people. After swimming and cooling off in a large waterfall we trekked into the mountains to a remote village. Pigs, chickens, buffalos, rice planting etc. When I say 'village' this is comprised of about 4 or 5 small bamboo huts. We trekked further to the next village for a delicious dinner and camp fire stories about Thai history and the life of the hill tribes from our guide Mr. Ko (above). Mr. Ko spoke good English but was difficult to understand at times for those who didnt use it as their 1st language as I do. I translated a bit for the others. Mr Ko grew very emotional at one point and started to thump his chest as he declared he would die for his country. At this point I admitted that although I considered myself to be patriotic I could not declare that I would die for my country. Maybe if we were invaded I would fight for my country but as an Englishman these days its just for someone elses politics. Little did I know that as we sat in this remote place discussing and comparing all our views on everything from cheese to languages to terrorism, London was suffering a terrorist attack from suicide bombers on the underground.

Wat?

Out the next day taking photos of one of the local Wats I met the lovely Natalie, local girl with motorbike. Photography student. Natalie proved to be a fantastic guide for the next few days and I met her friends and had a right laugh with Martin, her friend from London. Martin is one of those English people who works for a few months of the year, saves his money and spends the other 8 or 9 months living in Thailand. Very comfortably. No work, no worries. So with Natalies guidance I saw many parts of the city your average tourist wouldnt get to including a backstreet silk warehouse where they sold the same stuff they sold at the market but at a third of the cost. Naturally I bought some stuff for my mum. As you do. Blah blah blah this blogs getting boring.....Anyway then I booked my trek.

Karaoke

Now over 100 degrees I found the nearest shaded bar. I had an orange juice and a cup of tea and as I recall it was'nt bad either. Bumped into Hannah, her friend Yam arrived so I suggested an evening at the Karaoke. This was greeted with smiles and even a small round of applause for the idea, very sweet. So I met Dameon and the girls, drank a bottle of Sang Som and polished off with a hearty rendition of 'Ferry Across the Mersey'. Very very funny way to spend time. Anyone who ever goes to Thailand should do the karaoke. I had a go at the Thai stuff as well, some well known Thai boy band numbers, the Thais love it, they like you to make an effort to speak the language but singing their pop songs is greeted with the utmost joy. We left to head once more for Baboo. Having been blatantly paired up with Yam I searched in earnest for her personality. Couldnt find one. I took her outside, put her in a tuk-tuk and gave the driver 50 baht to take her home. Im sure she was nice, maybe just shy but once she was out of the way I could concentrate on my favourite pastime. Drinking.

Ladyboys. Small world

Someone told me this would happen....Moved on and shot some pool on a snooker table that had seen much better days. I was invited to join birthday celebrations (see above) with Dameon from Manchester, a retired American who looked like Rolf Harris, local Thai girls, some gay blokes and a few ladyboys for variety. We drank Sang Som. The Thais call it whisky but dont be fooled, its rum. Rum gets you a different kind of drunk to whisky. Anyway this bloke Dameon was travelling on a round-the-world ticket, landed in Chiang Mai and fallen in love with a local girl by the name of Hannah. I had to agree she was lovely. I told Dameon to read Bangkok Bobs '10 commandments of a bargirl' before getting committed. [again www.bangkokbob.net] As we sat around this large table getting further from sober, Dameon announces to Hannah that he loves her. I saw at least 90% of the table wince furiously. Oh dear, as i was to discover later none of this girls' friends liked him and of course, she was always at it with travelling farang. More on this later...I split from the group and got in a Toyota with two local girls. They took me to the local nightclub 'Bubbles'. Pronounced by the locals as 'Buboo'. So there I am at the bar and I look to my right and theres this girl standing there who I recognise. Certain its the rum working I talked to her. Lo and behold she went to my school, in my brothers class in fact. She didnt remember me but the fact she lost her virginity to my brother shook the memory bank a bit. Before I left someone said that in my year out the country I was bound to bump into someone I know from home but I didnt expect it to happen in a small nightclub in Northern Thailand just a few days after I left. Small world.

Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai. I could have stayed for years. Exceeding all expectations I had a fantastic time in Chiang Mai. I stayed at the well run, clean and friendly Souvenir Guest House in the south end of the town on Charoen
Prathet. I met Ben the barman who runs a place upstairs called 'where the discreet meet' if my memory serves me correctly. Ben directed me on a 2 min walk to the night market. Found a group of bars behind the night bazarr and propped myself up on a double gin and tonic. Realising I was in a gay bar (im not gay) I found the 3 barmen hilarious. Gay blokes seem to have a natural talent for being funny, I know thats generalising but its their over the top manner towards some things and they get so excited like kids do about silly stuff. I find it amusing. Gary turned up (an Australian) who was seeking out the local gay scene. The main barman showed him the map and directed him to Chiang Mai's local gay hotspot 'Adams' Apple'. You coming to Adams Apple Dave? No thanks Gary, actually im not gay. "Who are you kidding, youre in a gay bar drinking a gin and tonic and you've just told me you're from Brighton". Oops. Time to move on. The lady above by the way, I gave her 10 baht for the photo.

Sky Hotel Bangkok

There are 78 floors to the Sky hotel in Bangkok with a viewing deck on the 77th floor. Make sure you get there before 10pm or it will be closed. Fantastic views across the city wont disappoint anyone who makes the trip. Bangkok was similar to how I had anticipated but much as you know that it will be hot and humid, nothing really prepares you for it. Many times I was walking out of an air-conditioned building onto the street and forget how hot it was outside, the heat just hits you like a wall. Much as I was enjoying my time in Bangkok I was looking forward to the slower and cooler Chiang Mai.

Pool.

Im not good at too many things but I am quite good at pool. Ive been playing for over 20 years. One thing I found while travelling is that the pool table is a good centre for meeting people and making friends. This is easier when you dont get beaten. For those who dont know, the worldwide accepted rule is that the winner stays on. So I played pool with many girls, mainly prostitutes im sure. One of the girls took me across the road to meet some of her friends. Once inside this huge place I am surrounded by girls on platforms with poles holding up their deflated egos (look into their eyes fellas), with many, many over the hill Farang (westerners). Mainly German and English, admiring what was on show and for sale. And what song was playing that these girls were dancing unenthusiastically to? Can't buy me love by The Beatles. I think I was the only one in the place who appreciated the irony. Next we went to a small upstairs bar and again I played pool for the remainder of the night. Met people from London, Bournemouth, Sweden, America, Nigeria and elsewhere too. Spoke to a lot of locals, I was not long in this place when I had run out of money. When you first go to Thailand of course everything seems so cheap and you dont want to walk round with wedges of cash, I had simply underestimated what I would spend. But no-one would let me leave and many times it was insisted that I stay for another beer, the cost no problem. I was quickly getting used to the Thai hospitality but always somehow wary that whatever was free right now may have to be paid for later. As it turned out this was not to be the case.

Bangkok.

Anyone going to Bangkok should first consult Bangkok Bob. www.bangkokbob.net. Arrived at hotel through torrential rain. The Royal Asia Lodge, its on Soi 8 just off Sukhumvit Road, right in the heart of the action, near the Nana skytrain station. I can recommend this place (about 1100 baht a night for a large double room) with good food. Went out to explore the local area on foot. Saw a live reggae band 'Witch Doctor' at Cleopones on Soi 8. Made a friend called Oi who insisted I took her number and to call if I have any trouble or need a local guide for the city. I was wondering if she was a bargirl but as I left she pointed out that I was lucky to not be paying to talk to her like the other men in the bar were with the other girls. Hmm. Can never be sure in Bangkok. She invited me to a barbecue on the Friday. Went to internet cafe to email the folks to tell them I wasnt dead and yes, Bangkok was bloody hot. Got up fairly early to ride around the city on the skytrain. Tackling the roads by walking much harder to do. Bangkok seemed a lot sleepier than I had anticipated but after dark the place was bustling again. The rain ceased and I was offered all manner of things on the street. Only the most insensitive of men would use the type of go-go bar where you pick a girl wearing a number from behind a glass screen and accept a massage and more for about 20 quid. I spotted an open air type bar on the corner of one street with plenty of pool tables so I headed straight for it.

Pastures old and new.

Having now returned from my 12 month backpacking holiday in Thailand and Australia I find myself in the unusual state of significant illness. Without wanting to dwell too much on this and the promise of a 48 hour recovery period I have decided to invest some time in my blog. Before I left England I invested in a leather bound travel journal. This, I thought, would become my main travel companion. To log ones thoughts and feelings while on the road can spur the memory to the exact time and place of writing even years later. But in all honesty I hardly used the thing. Recording memories with photos and video seemed to use up enough time and every time the journal came out it was almost even a chore to write in it. Now I am back in the midst of drought affected Southern England. Illness confines me from seeing my friends and England hurled out of the world cup I have new born energy to record here some of my experiences over the last year. The Codeine is working.